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Saturday 5 July, 2008
 17:33 | 25/Feb/2008 |  2 Comment(s)
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Mosqui-tales!!

At first I couldnt believe my ears. But then the mosquito sitting on the tip of my nose folded his wings and pleaded: O lady please allow me to have  a few drops of your blood so that my line can continue.
Mosquitos require a kind of protein found in human blood for their eggs but I was too angry about all the previous unpermitted collections of blood, I retorted: Why hasnt anybody asked me earlier??

Mosquito: My lady it was only a few minutes back that I had a drink of a social activists' blood who files a public interest litigation against all ills (real or imagined) in the country, especially against those who exploit and suck people's blood. Thus scared I had to plead before I bite. Till now most people have been kind enough to allow me.

Me: And what about the voice??

Mosquito: I bit Himesh Reshammiya yesterday and since then am unable to stop this whizzing sound of my nose. You see whenever we bite a person personality corpusules in his blood become active in us and we acquire their behaviour.

Me: So how come no one has come to know of it? No scientist has researched on it?

Mosquito: Well the effect generally lasts a few hours depending on the potency. As far as scientists are concerned, they remind us of doctors and so we behave well.

Me: So you are scared of doctors??

Mosquito: No its not that. Their blood has all kinds of medicines in small doses, it gives us a digetsive problem and so we stay away.

Me: So who do you go to when you have, er, malaria, cholera...

Mosquito: To the chemist down the lane, he has all the all the medicines mixed in correct amount of blood next to the window.

Me: When is it that you run off to him?

Mosquito: Whenever we bite a politician. A sip of that blood sends us in atizzy and we keep mistaking money for food. Everything smells of fodder, urea and whatever the latest scams running. We end up with a bad cold lasting days.

Me: That sounds good, you can help police uncover these scams!

Mosquito: Its outlawed in our laws.

Me: Laws! you have laws!

Mosquito: Yes we do...my great great.....great grandfather had a taste of Pandit Nehru's blood. For a few weeks he talked only about constitution and democracy. Finally he was made to settle for a collection of laws called Mosqui-tution. In fact our assembly behaves far better than the UP assembly.

Me: So why is it that you have outlawed police?

Mosquito: We are not supposed to step within 10 feet of a policeman

Me: Why?

Mosquito: Oh the last time someone bit a policeman he tortured everybody and spoke uncensorable language for weeks.

Me: Censor!! do you have movies??

Mosquito: Sure the latest is Jhonny mange khoon and Machchariya

Me: So, someone bit Sanjay Leela Bhansali?

Mosquito: Nopes, by mistake someone on a holiday to Pakistan bit a Don. Ever since he has been making movies.

Me: Mistake?

Mosquito: Oh we dont bite the Dons, we consider them our human blood loving brethern.

Me: You keep away from police, politicians, doctors, scientsits and dons, is that why you bite us commoners??

Mosquito: Commoner? you are a common person? goodbye then...........commoners never have enough blood to make it worth our while........


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